The T-shirt Body Workout

The T-shirt Body Workout

Judgement Day is coming; sculpted horsemen strut
on washboard abs and classic V shape forms. They probe
with rigour, demanding mankind’s full account of afternoons.

You’re not in shape?  Fate’s envelope is licked and sealed.
The mirror of God knows you wholly, eternally unshirted;
no sweet salvation waits for those who dare not sweat.

Depend on how you look (and feel) for first and final reckoning.
Virtue only swells in manly ripples, being’s plenty
told in inches. Winter’s screen shall bear no refuge, when unmanned

arms dangle from the sleeves like cooked spaghetti,
God’s dread henchmen watch them dangle, each lack
a damning revelation. Harken to their scripture:

fill out your shirts, answer the Word, its Work upon you.
Pectorals and obliques the book of your existence, in which is read
each day’s regime. Behold embodied self, the Judge is out

your verdict’s in. Stand and flex, else tremble. The scales poise and dip.




* Using elements from an article from the June/July issue of Men’s Fitness (2006)